🐭🚫Once a harmless ditty about a rodent and a timepiece—now exiled for inciting feline-on-mouse aggression. Welcome to the age of pre-chewed, sanitized childhoods.
Hickory, Dickory, Dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran down—
Hickory, Dickory, Dock.
Now banned due to the fact the cat is chasing a mouse with the intent of violence.
🕰️ Rhymes That Rattle the Censorship Clock
That’s right—Hickory, Dickory, Dock has officially joined the blacklist of problematic preschool poetry. Why? Because the cat’s potential violence toward the mouse is now deemed “inappropriate” for sensitive ears. Never mind that the actual poem doesn’t include the cat—or the violence. It’s the implied threat that matters. 🧠🔍
Soon, we’ll be redacting Old MacDonald because livestock farming is unethical. Humpty Dumpty? Too traumatic. Ring-a-Ring o’ Roses? Pandemic triggers. And don’t even mention Three Blind Mice unless you’re ready for a seminar on ableism and weaponized cutlery. ✂️🐀
Welcome to the world where nursery rhymes need legal counsel, and lullabies are vetted by risk assessment committees. Because nothing says “protect the children” like banning stories about mice with bad time management.
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Challenges
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How far is too far? Should fairy tales be filtered until they’re just sterile jingles? Or do kids need a little mischief in their metaphors to grow up with imagination and grit? Drop your sharpest take in the blog comments—not just Facebook rants. Let the absurdity breathe.
👇 Like, comment, share. Rewrite a rhyme in protest if you’re feeling spicy.
Best submissions will feature in our next satirical spread. 🎤📖
Chameleon Magazine 
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