Chameleon Magazine

So the Telegraph thinks one way to deal with “too many pensioners” is… checks notes… assisted suicide. Because clearly the problem isn’t decades of government mismanagement, bloated expenses, or MPs sipping subsidised wine — it’s Nana daring to live past 75. Genius, really. Why fix pensions when you can just delete the pensioners?

But here’s the kicker: if policymakers truly believe their pension “reforms” are so reasonable, then let’s make sure they’re the first in line to live with them. Every tweak, trim, and slash to state pensions should apply to MPs and government staff immediately. No golden escape hatches. No magical safety nets. If it’s fair for ordinary people, it’s fair for Westminster — because last time I checked, politicians will be pensioners one day too.

Imagine the sudden surge of compassion in Parliament if MPs had to face retirement on the same deal they’re peddling to the rest of us. Suddenly, “tightening belts” might not sound so inspiring when it means fewer foie gras starters at the Commons dining room and more Tesco Value ready meals in their own microwaves.

So instead of flirting with the absurdity of “assisted dying” as policy, maybe it’s time for assisted honesty: align politicians with the people they serve. That way, pension reform isn’t just numbers on a spreadsheet — it’s dinner on their own plates.

🔥 

Challenges

 🔥

What do you think — should MPs be locked into the exact same pension system as the rest of us? Wouldn’t their decisions look very different if they had real skin in the game? Drop your thoughts (and your spiciest pension policy roasts) in the comments. 💬🔥

👇 Comment, like, and share. Let’s hold Westminster to their own rules. The boldest replies will feature in the next issue of the magazine. 📝🎯