Chameleon Magazine

 Tony Blair — yes, that Tony Blair, the geopolitical arsonist-in-chief — is now vouching for Donald Trump’s “intelligent” foreign policy. It’s the political equivalent of a butcher recommending a surgeon. The man who sold us phantom WMDs now thinks the guy who wanted to nuke hurricanes has some good ideas. Sleep tight, world. 😴🌍

🐪 From Camels to Chaos: Blair’s Greatest (Mis)Hits

Let’s rewind. Blair dragged Britain into Iraq on the strength of a PowerPoint and a prayer, promising nuclear Armageddon and delivering a handful of goat herders with rusting rifles. Now he’s offering geopolitical character references like he’s handing out mixtapes at a war crimes tribunal.

When Blair says Trump’s Middle East policy might lead to peace, it’s like a fox endorsing a wolf for henhouse management. If this duo’s vision of “peace” is anything like their track record, we can look forward to another decade of rubble, oil fires, and PR campaigns featuring badly lit handshakes.

🎌 Meanwhile in London: Flags, Fury & Free Labour Offers

But fear not! Blair’s got a plan — and it’s not just throwing petrol on Gaza while yelling about democracy. No, he’s calling on those flag-waving protesters in London to help him rebuild the region. That’s right, after being ignored, misrepresented, or kettled by police, they can now… volunteer for Tony’s dream team of nation-building interns.

How generous. Maybe after annoying half of London with traffic-stopping demonstrations, they can now annoy Hamas by asking where to plug in the solar panels. Because nothing heals a region like British volunteers with zero diplomatic authority and a shared trauma from Blair’s legacy.

🔥 The Middle East’s New Architects: Blair, Trump, and… Protesters?

It’s the kind of “solution” only a man who once mistook regime change for charity work could dream up. Blair wants us to believe Trump’s erratic tantrum-diplomacy and his own drone-era spreadsheets will bring peace to Palestine. Meanwhile, actual Palestinians live under siege, and actual Londoners are stuck watching former leaders recycle themselves as saviors of the very fires they lit.

If only we could harness Tony’s self-righteous delusion as an energy source — we’d hit Net Zero by Christmas. 🎄🌪️

🔥 Challenges.🔥

Are we really going to let the architects of endless war rebrand as peace prophets? Is Blair’s “help” what the Middle East asked for — or just what his conscience requires?

💬 Sound off in the blog comments: Should protesters become peace-builders? Should Blair ever be allowed near foreign policy again? Or should we send him a map and a muzzle?

👇 Comment, like, share — and tag someone who still thinks WMDs were real.

The best roasts and rebuttals will be featured in the next issue of the magazine. 🧨📝