🇬🇧🧠Remember There’s Something About Mary — that glorious moment when the wannabe serial killer pitches his revolutionary fitness plan? “Forget 8-Minute Abs,” he says. “It’s 7-Minute Abs. One less minute! Better! Faster! Genius!” Well, friends, Kemi Badenoch must’ve been streaming late-night comedy, because her latest masterstroke — the BORDERS Plan — feels ripped straight from that script.
🎬 Kemi’s Seven Steps to Nowhere (But Faster)
🪄Reform UK is out here peddling their “8-Step Migration Reduction Plan,” waving spreadsheets and shouting about sovereignty — and then in strides Kemi, political clipboard in hand, grinning like she’s cracked the immigration code. Why settle for eight steps when you can have seven? One less! More efficient! Streamlined suffering!
It’s like slimming the chaos, not solving it. Imagine a fitness DVD: “Tone Your Borders in Just 7 Easy Steps!” 💪🏽 Except instead of crunches, it’s deportations. Instead of motivation, it’s moral panic.
Ben Stiller’s expression in that movie? That mix of confusion and quiet horror? Yeah, that’s us. Watching politicians compete on who can shrink compassion faster — one policy minute at a time.
Because nothing screams “leadership vision” like cutting a step off someone else’s plan and calling it innovation. “You’ve heard of 8-Step Reform,” says Kemi with a wink. “Well, here’s my Seven-Step Sensation!” — cue applause, confetti, and a border checkpoint shaped like a dumbbell. 🏋️♀️
🔥 Challenges 🔥
If immigration policy is a game of political SlimFast, when do we stop pretending these “plans” are anything more than headline diets? 🥴
Would you pick the 8-Step Plan or the 7-Step Scam? Drop your hot take below — the best comparisons, movie references, and punchlines make it into the next issue. 🎬💥
👇 Comment, like, and share if you’ve ever wondered when governance turned into a dodgy infomercial.
The sharpest quips and sassiest insights will be featured in Chameleon News Magazine. 📰💫
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