🚨Once again, Prince Andrew — the man who somehow managed to make Newsnight feel like an exorcism — is in the headlines. This time, it’s not about sweat glands or pizza alibis. According to reports, the disgraced duke allegedly asked his taxpayer-funded Metropolitan Police bodyguard to dig up dirt on Virginia Giuffre, the teenager who accused him of sexual abuse.
That’s right — the royal who claimed he didn’t party, didn’t perspire, and didn’t remember her — apparently did remember her long enough to mobilize public resources to protect his reputation.
🕵️♂️ The Royal Damage Unit: Taxpayer Edition
So picture it: Britain’s most infamous prince, once protected by crown and cash, turning his Met police detail into a one-man Operation Smear the Victim. The officer, reportedly uneasy, refused — but the request alone is a royal scandal in itself.
Let’s get this straight: A public servant, paid by you, was allegedly asked to help a royal neutralize a teenage accuser. Imagine trying that as a normal citizen:
“Hi, officer, can you just pop round and intimidate someone who’s bad for my PR?”
Only in Britain could a man lose his HRH, his dignity, and still keep his nerve to ring up the taxpayer-funded muscle. 🫖
💸 From Royal Protection to Royal Protection Racket?
It’s not just tone-deaf — it’s systemic rot with a velvet cushion. Andrew lost his official duties after his Epstein connection exploded, but that hasn’t stopped the palace payroll from quietly underwriting his security and lifestyle.
The optics? Let’s say somewhere between House of Windsor and House of Cards.
He pays settlements; you pay the staff.
He loses face; you lose faith in institutions.
And after years of PR rehabilitation attempts, here he is again — demonstrating that royal privilege doesn’t die; it just hides behind police badges.
🔥 Challenges 🔥
Why are we still footing the bill for this? Why does a man stripped of royal duties still have access to public-funded protection — let alone the confidence to try using it for personal vendettas?
Is it time for Parliament to strip ex-working royals of their taxpayer-funded perks? Or do we just keep polishing the gilt on their hypocrisy?
Drop your takes — cynical, furious, or weary — in the blog comments below (not just on socials). Let’s see if public patience for this kind of privilege still exists. 💬💣
👇 Hit comment, hit share, hit like — let’s give “accountability” a royal upgrade.
The best reader comments will appear in next month’s issue of the magazine. 📰✨
Chameleon Magazine 
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