
✝️🕊️Eight wars, zero launches — that’s the claim echoing through social media corridors brighter than a halo at sunset. Forget generals, treaties, or diplomacy — apparently, one orange-hued man waved his golf club, and the world just… chilled.
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Rumour has it — yes, rumour — that the Pope himself might be eyeing up a canonization for the man who, allegedly, singlehandedly stopped eight wars. Eight! (Though we’re not sure which eight — it’s like the lost Marvel movies of foreign policy.) Somewhere between Twitter tantrums and top-secret briefings, the wars must have packed their bags and gone home. 🎺✌️
And while we’re here — can we talk about the mental image of Saint Trump? Picture him in marble, toga slightly too long, hand raised in eternal benediction, the other clutching a Diet Coke chalice. 🥤⛪
The choir’s humming “Make Heaven Great Again,” angels are building condos, and somewhere a historian just fainted.
But who needs facts when you have faith the size of a Trump Tower? Whether you think he’s a divine diplomat or just divinely lucky, one thing’s certain: no one’s ever turned foreign policy into fan fiction quite like this. 📜🔥
🔥 Challenges 🔥
Think Trump deserves sainthood or just a “thank you” card from history? Drop your holy opinions below:
- Which wars did he stop — and were they even happening? 🤔
- What miracles would you nominate Saint Trump for? (Walking on fake news? Turning subpoenas into golf tees?) ⛳
- If the Pope really did it… would you light a candle or a Twitter thread? 🕯️🐦
👇 Leave your confessions, prayers, or sarcasm in the comments. Bless this post with likes and shares — or smite it with your wit. 💬🔥
Best responses will ascend to the next issue of the magazine. 🕊️📜


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