💦🚶♂️💼In a display of noblesse oblige nobody asked for, Lord Peter Mandelson, the velvet-voiced grandee of New Labour, has reportedly christened a Notting Hill wall with the full force of his bladder—mere moments after visiting none other than George Osborne. Ah yes, the modern-day Versailles: drinks with the architect of austerity, followed by a quick whizz on the plebs’ pavement. Who needs dignity when you’ve got a peerage?
🚽 Lord of the Leaks: From Global Diplomacy to Public Urination
This wasn’t just any old geezer taking a tactical tinkle after one too many sauv blancs. No, this was Lord Mandelson—former EU commissioner, ex-Business Secretary, and once the UK’s ambassador to the US—answering the call of nature like a man who’s never seen a lavatory in west London.
The very same man who once mingled with oligarchs on yachts, advised prime ministers, and knew which fork to use for foie gras, has now opted to relieve himself on a wall. Did George Osborne forget to offer him the guest loo? Was there a toilet austerity policy we missed?
And in Notting Hill, no less—a postcode where even the graffiti has a trust fund. Residents reportedly looked on in horror/confusion/Instagram-fueled glee as the noble stream flowed. Is this the new House of Lords strategy to stay “connected” with the public—one brick at a time?
Honestly, if this is the level of post-political decorum we can expect, we might as well appoint a urinal as the next Lord Spiritual.
💥 Challenges 💥
How do you feel knowing the upper crust has started marking territory like Westminster’s gone full Crufts? Is public peeing the new policy rollout for washed-up politicians? Leave your hot take, your outrage, or your most poetic stream-of-consciousness in the blog comments. 💬💦
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Chameleon Magazine 
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