🏘️🪖Turns out everyone wants compassion—as long as it’s not parked within five miles of their house.
🧳Welcome to Britain’s Favourite Game: Pass the Refugee Parcel
Rich folks don’t want asylum seekers in former military bases near their £2.5m barn conversions because… well, it ruins the view of the orchard.
Poor communities don’t want them in town-centre hotels because they’ve already lost funding, jobs, and GPs to austerity.
So where exactly are they supposed to go? Mars?
Here’s the reality no one wants to say out loud: you can’t support a humane asylum system while simultaneously playing postcode politics. Someone, somewhere, has to share space. And yes, disused military camps might be ugly, remote, and a bit haunted by Cold War ghosts — but they’re already built, already vacant, and already public property.
Besides, the irony writes itself:
We no longer need these barracks to house our troops because we’re not invading other countries anymore… they’re all showing up at the gate with a suitcase and a tragic backstory.
And let’s be serious for a moment — from a logistical standpoint, mass housing is more efficient.
👥 One kitchen serves hundreds.
🛏️ One site can be guarded, cleaned, and maintained as a unit.
💰 It costs less than outsourcing to private hotels with breakfast buffets and laundry bills.
But still, the backlash comes.
“The value of my home will drop.”
“My kids won’t get into the school.”
“It’s not safe.”
All valid-sounding on the surface, until you realise what we’re really saying is: we support refugees, just not near us.
So we trap the policy in purgatory: hotels the locals hate, barracks the rich oppose, and meanwhile, asylum seekers are treated like movable furniture — shuffled from site to site while ministers make it all a culture war sideshow.
The real question isn’t where we house them.
It’s whether we still believe in being a country that treats desperate people with dignity — or whether we’ve traded that in for a council tax rebate and a clearer view of the golf course.
🔥 Challenges 🔥
Is there any place left where asylum seekers can be housed without triggering fury from someone? Where’s the line between practical and principled? Vent it all below. We want anger, nuance, sarcasm — whatever you’ve got. 💬🏚️
👇 Comment, like, and share if you’re sick of refugee hot potato.
The best takes will be featured in the next issue — especially if they’re unpopular. 🎯📝
Chameleon Magazine 
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