🛢️🌍Britain’s “just transition” turns out to be just that — just a transition… to offshore unemployment, imported emissions, and energy hypocrisy so rich it could fuel a private jet fleet. While Scottish workers are pink-slipped in the name of planetary virtue, the UK quietly bankrolls petrostates with lower standards and higher emissions. Because apparently, oil only counts as dirty if it’s Scottish.
🇸🇦💸 Westminster’s Climate Plan: Export Jobs, Import Guilt
What do you get when you shut down the North Sea, ghost thousands of skilled workers, and call it “green progress”? A dystopian shell game where emissions aren’t reduced — they’re relocated. Offshore wind jobs? Ghost towns. Energy independence? Sold out to Riyadh. Fairness? Only if you think fairness means gutting Scotland to greenwash Whitehall speeches.
You can practically hear the logic wheezing under the weight of its own double standards:
- Scottish oil = bad.
- Saudi oil = fine, as long as we don’t look directly at it.
- Domestic jobs = dispensable.
- Virtue-signalling = priceless.
It’s the equivalent of banning local bakeries for carbon emissions… and importing croissants by private jet from Dubai. But hey, as long as the carbon’s someone else’s problem, we’re saving the planet, right? 🌍✨
🧯Scotland Is Burning While Westminster Plays With Matches
Take a stroll through Aberdeen, and the “green economy” starts to look more like a ghost story. Fabricators? Laid off. Engineers? Displaced. Entire supply chains, built over decades, shredded in months — all in the name of optics. And the so-called “renewables revolution”? About as fast-moving as a bureaucrat on a Friday afternoon.
The Scottish Affairs Committee itself has waved the red flag: green jobs aren’t materialising. The workforce isn’t transitioning — they’re being tossed aside like last season’s pledges.
And let’s not forget: the North Sea is already one of the cleanest, most regulated oil regions on Earth. Shutting it down to buy sludgy crude from autocrats isn’t environmentalism. It’s political pantomime wrapped in a hemp tote bag.
💂♂️ Energy Policy by Press Release
Let’s decode the real energy strategy:
- Sacrifice Scottish jobs to polish the UK’s “climate halo”
- Replace regulated domestic oil with high-carbon imports
- Brag about net-zero targets built on exported emissions
- Pretend clean energy is replacing fossil fuels (it isn’t, yet)
- Smile for the cameras while the North-East collapses
And the best part? The people funding this tragicomic performance — you, the taxpayer — aren’t even told the truth. You’re handed slogans instead of strategy. Speeches instead of substance. And all while the UK government signs new oil import deals behind a camouflage of green righteousness.
🧠 The Logic Collapse: When Oil Becomes “Clean” by Crossing a Border
Here’s the con that should make every jaw drop from John O’Groats to Land’s End:
If North Sea oil is too “dirty” to produce, why is Saudi oil acceptable to import?
Answer: it’s not. But it’s out of sight, out of guilt, and conveniently beyond democratic scrutiny.
This isn’t a clean energy strategy — it’s a fossil-fuel laundering operation with better PR. A carbon shell game dressed up in recycled slogans. And Scotland? It’s not transitioning. It’s bleeding out, slowly, while Westminster pats itself on the back with one hand and signs foreign contracts with the other.
🧨 Challenges 🧨
Why are we pretending this is noble? Why is Scotland footing the bill for climate vanity metrics? Comment below if you’ve had enough of the green charade. If your job’s been hit, if your town’s been ghosted, or if you simply see through the spin — say it out loud.
📢 Hit comment. Hit like. Hit share.
🔥 Set the record straight in the replies.
💬 The best takes, rants, and reality checks will be published in the next issue of our magazine.
Chameleon Magazine 
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