
🪑🧽This just in: Sky News crime unit has been deployed to scrape chewing gum from under Nigel Farage’s old school desk, citing “potential extremism residue.”
The investigative team—armed with blacklights and a copy of Mein Kampf for Dummies—believes Farage’s biro etchings may hold the key to modern fascism.
While Gaza flares and the economy coughs blood, Sky News boldly dedicates six panels and a live correspondent to analysing who Nigel sat next to in Geography class. 🌍📉
Coming up at 10: “Did teenage Nigel eat too many pork pies? What it says about his nationalism.”


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