Chameleon Magazine

TV’s poshest property pundit isn’t taking Labour’s new mansion tax lying down—unless it’s on a John Lewis sofa in a £2m living room.

💣 Labour Just Declared Class War… on Households with a Wine Cellar

When the smoke cleared after Rachel Reeves dropped the words “mansion tax,” there was one woman you knew was going to surface from the rubble with a cordless phone and a bone to pick: Kirstie Allsopp, national treasure of throw cushions and righteous rage.

According to Kirstie, the UK’s housing market has officially been taken off life support and buried under a layer of “kite-flying” from a Chancellor who seems to think homeownership is some sort of bourgeois hobby. 🪁⚰️

“Dust yourselves off,” she says, like we’re survivors of a natural disaster—except the only thing shaking the ground is Reeves’ calculator. Kirstie’s furious not just for mansion-dwellers, but also for the concept of owning your own bricks. “This government doesn’t like people who’ve bought homes. And landlords? They’re the new witches of Salem.”

It’s giving Reverse-Robin Hood: take from those who saved, scrimped, inherited, or simply bought in 1997 when a three-bed in Islington was the price of a Volvo. Now those same people are getting taxed into submission for daring to have a garage and a guest room.

But don’t worry. It’s not personal. Just policy. Unless, of course, you consider it personal when someone actively legislates against your existence.

Meanwhile, actual oligarchs are probably toasting with vintage Bordeaux in offshore mansions, untouched by UK council tax and blissfully free of Kirstie’s rage.

Welcome to Property Purgatory—where the reward for owning your home is being framed as the villain in a Dickensian reboot titled The Homeowner of Ealing High. 🏚️📉

Are we really solving inequality by hammering middle-class homeowners and buy-to-let landlords while letting mega-rich foreign buyers park their cash in empty flats? 🤯

Unleash your inner Kirstie. Vent. Rage. Redesign the system with a tasteful open-plan comment section.

👇 Drop your reaction below. Like. Share. And tell us what else Reeves should tax—window boxes? Garden gnomes?

Top responses will feature in the next issue of the magazine. 🧾🗣️