Chameleon Magazine

 🕳️💸In a twist worthy of Doctor Who meets Dad’s Army, the UK’s most elusive object — the infamous “black hole” in public finances — has mysteriously disappeared. Vanished. Poof. Gone. And guess who’s suddenly missing in action too? That’s right: Chancellor Rachael Reeves. Coincidence? The Treasury’s PR team would really like you to think so.

🚧 When Pothole Crews Go Galactic

Word on the street — quite literally — is that the local council, armed with a bucket of tarmac and a two-week delay, were told to “fill the holes.” Unfortunately, no one clarified which ones. And thus, in a tragic case of interdepartmental miscommunication, Britain’s fiscal black hole was last seen somewhere near junction 12, under six inches of gravel and civic ambition.

Meanwhile, Reeves is nowhere to be found. She hasn’t resigned. She hasn’t spoken. She may have simply fallen into the black hole herself, possibly while carrying the last copy of the “fully costed” budget. Some say she’s orbiting near the ghost of Liz Truss’s mini-budget. Others believe she’s hiding out with the missing HS2 tracks and all those “world-beating” PPE contracts.

It raises a key question: was this black hole ever real, or was it just a convenient excuse to slash school dinners while doubling MP expense allowances? Either way, it’s gone now. And with it, any remaining hope of budget transparency.

So next time you see a fresh pothole being filled, maybe say a quick thank you — not to the council, but to the brave souls patching up our cosmic fiscal embarrassment one shovel at a time.

🛑 Challenges 🛑

Is Britain actually being run by a group of confused road workers and a vanishing Chancellor? Can we really not tell the difference between a pothole and a budget deficit anymore? 🤯 Drop your wildest theories and sharpest burns in the blog comments — we’re past fiscal reality at this point.

👇 Like. Share. Comment below. Satire may be our last functioning public service.

The best comments will be printed in the next issue of the magazine — assuming we find Reeves in time. 🕵️‍♀️🗞️