Chameleon Magazine

In a plot twist that would make Ebenezer Scrooge blush, hundreds of older Scots — many of them on low incomes — have just had their funeral plans cancelled. Yes, the long-standing Family Protection Plan (FPP), marketed as a lifeline through credit unions, has been unceremoniously pulled after insurer Maiden Life fled the UK market. No payout. No plan B. Just… gone.

For those who’ve spent decades faithfully paying into the FPP so their kids wouldn’t be burdened with funeral costs, this isn’t just a financial gut punch — it’s betrayal wrapped in bureaucracy and tied with a bow of indifference.

💀 “Thanks for Your Loyalty — Now Please Die Quietly”

Let’s recap the festive cheer:

Maiden Life disappears like an Amazon return window, leaving policyholders — many of them pensioners — without the cover they paid into for 25 years or more. Thousands of pounds, earmarked to avoid the indignity of a debt-ridden send-off, have vanished faster than a minister’s spine in a press interview.

Credit unions sold these plans as trusted, community-rooted alternatives. Now? These “community” safety nets have gaping holes — and the message to the elderly is clear: if you want dignity in death, better start a GoFundMe… or die in summer when cremation’s cheaper.

And before you say, “Well, can’t the government help?” — let’s remember that the Funeral Support Payment has more red tape than a royal ceremony. Eligibility is tighter than a minister’s media schedule, and with funeral costs ballooning north of £4,000, the “relief” is about as helpful as a damp sympathy card.

This isn’t a financial product failure — it’s a social policy grenade. And it’s detonating in slow motion across Scotland’s most vulnerable communities.

🔥 Challenges 🔥

Are we actually okay with letting insurers vanish with people’s funeral money — no consequences, no refunds, no Plan B? Are we that numb? That polite? That broke?

Chime in below — whether you’re outraged, confused, or just sick of being mugged by “trusted” institutions. The funeral industry’s been quietly fleecing the poor for years — maybe it’s time someone screamed.

👇 Comment, share, and tag your most cynical friend. Let’s make noise for the folks who paid in peace and are being left to rest in pieces.

Best comments will feature in the magazine — and yes, we’ll print the 🔥 ones.