
Good Morning Britain just gave us a masterclass in how not to do journalism β by dragging the national conversation straight into the ball pit of Nigel Farageβs teenage years. Yes, folks, the British media has officially traded policy for puberty.
π Who Needs Policy When Youβve Got PE Class Memories?
Apparently, rigorous political analysis is passΓ©. Why ask real questions when you can rifle through a manβs Year 9 school report and drag on two ex-classmates with the memory reliability of dial-up internet? βHe once said something arrogant in 1981,β they gasp, expecting the nation to collectively faint. π
But donβt worry β theyβre definitely not political. They just donβt want him to be Prime Minister. Totally neutral stuff, like saying βI donβt support any team, I just hope Liverpool never win another match.β π§
GMB, in a bold leap of editorial logic, decided that actual policies, public service, or modern-day actions arenβt juicy enough. Better to dig up ancient hormonal squabbles and repackage them as political prophecy. Who needs investigative journalism when youβve got nostalgia-fuelled vendettas?
This isnβt journalism β itβs Holby City: Secondary School Reunion Edition. π€πΊ
Maybe next week theyβll have his old PE teacher on to discuss his running technique as a metaphor for foreign policy. Or his Year 8 crush to confirm whether heβs always been emotionally distant. God help us if they get hold of his SAT scores β we might start rewriting the constitution. ππ§
What this reveals is not just media laziness, but the total erosion of intellectual integrity. The mainstream press isnβt holding power to account β theyβre holding a grudge from 40 years ago.
Meanwhile, viewers are left wondering whether theyβre watching a news show or a spin-off of Gogglebox hosted by bitter ex-friends with unresolved trauma. And yet they wonder why ratings are in freefall. πͺ
π₯Β ChallengesΒ π₯
Why is our national discourse being hijacked by playground tales and veiled bias dressed as βnewsβ? Are we really this starved of substance? Whatβs your take: is this pathetic, predictable, or both? ππ£οΈ
π Sound off in the blog comments β not just on Facebook. We want the real talk.
Like it, share it, and tag someone whoβs tired of journalists cosplaying as teenage tattlers.
π―οΈ The spiciest comments get featured in our next magazine issue.


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