Despite his royal reputation sinking faster than a corgi in quicksand, Prince Andrew gets to cling onto the Royal Lodge for another year—because apparently, losing titles, credibility, and public favor doesn’t mean losing a 30-room mansion. Meanwhile, MPs are finally poking the golden beehive, launching an inquiry into the Crown Estate’s “housing arrangements”—a polite way of asking, “Why is this man still living like a Bond villain on our dime?”
🕵️♂️ The World’s Most Available Missing Man
He may dodge the spotlight like it’s serving subpoenas, but don’t worry—when it comes to grilled sausages and taxpayer-funded palaces, Andrew is miraculously home. The same man who couldn’t recall whether he sweat (or allegedly did a whole lot more) in a PizzaExpress now faces being summoned by MPs to explain why he’s still occupying a royal Airbnb that makes Downton Abbey look like a Travelodge.
Let’s be clear: this isn’t a rental dispute—it’s historical cosplay meets state-funded indulgence. While public housing waitlists resemble Hunger Games auditions, our favorite former duke is lounging in Windsor, surrounded by manicured lawns and scandal-proof drapes.
And sure, technically he pays rent—if you count a £250-a-week gardener and the promise to “handle the upkeep” as anything more than code for “avoid the press and don’t set anything on fire.”
But don’t worry, the Crown Estate is looking into it. Which, as history shows, means it’ll be filed gently under “Awkward Things We Pretend Aren’t Happening” next to Prince Michael of Kent and that time the Queen owned a McDonald’s.
🔥 Challenges 🔥
So, here’s the question: Why does one man’s right to lounge in a mansion matter more than thousands waiting for a place to live? Why does royalty get free rent while you get rent freezes that never actually freeze anything? Sound off in the comments—we want your fire, your sarcasm, your solutions, or just your finest roast. 🍗🔥
Chameleon Magazine 
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