Chameleon Magazine

 🛢️➡️🛒Pat McFadden MP has apparently cracked the youth unemployment crisis: just shove everyone into subsidised supermarket jobs. No brain cells? No problem! Welcome to Labour’s “vision” for the next generation—a future not of oil rigs and engineering, but of reduced-price lasagnas and “unexpected items in the bagging area.” 🙃🛒

Got dreams of working in energy, tech, or heavy industry? Tough.

Live near Grangemouth or Mossmorran? The oil industry is evaporating, and no one’s planning to rebuild it. Instead, the new policy seems to be: “Here’s a lanyard and a shelf. You’re welcome.”

🛢️ “Sorry Kid, the Oil’s Gone – But ASDA’s Hiring!”

Remember when Scotland powered the UK with its oil and gas wealth? Now, young people in those communities are being offered a state-sponsored trip to the checkout counter. Forget high-skilled energy sector jobs. Forget retraining programmes for green tech. Forget apprenticeships in petrochemical engineering.

Labour’s offer is crystal clear:

Bag groceries… or be sanctioned.

And by sanctioned, they mean your benefits will be cut off unless you accept a position that demands no qualifications, no ambition, and apparently, no dignity.

This is what happens when industrial collapse meets political laziness. Instead of fighting to rebuild high-value jobs, Labour wants to recycle economic scraps into a punishment system disguised as opportunity. It’s the career equivalent of being told to colour quietly in the corner while the grownups wreck the country.

🧨 Challenges 🧨

How did we go from offshore platforms to off-brand crackers? Shouldn’t Labour be fighting to restore industrial jobs—not handing out loyalty cards and calling it justice?

💬 Sound off in the comments: is this vision inspiring, insulting, or just plain dystopian?

👇 Comment, like, and share—especially if your town’s gone from drilling oil to draining hope.

Top comments will be featured in the next issue of the magazine. 💬🔥