Chameleon Magazine

Forget university debt and overpriced “online masterclasses”—turns out, the real life hack to upgrading your résumé is a nice stint behind bars. That’s right: prison, where the courses are free, the cooking skills are Michelin-minus, and your bunkmate doubles as both life coach and potential shiv enthusiast. Who needs Coursera when you’ve got cellblock curriculum?

🍲 From Jail Cell to Sous Chef — All Expenses Paid by You, the Taxpayer

Apparently, if you’re dreaming of becoming a chef but can’t afford culinary school, prison might be your best bet. Yes, the prison system—famously known for punishment, reform, and the occasional institutional riot—is now offering free skills training. No tuition fees, no student loans, no stress… well, except the constant fear of someone stealing your pudding.

While cooking seems to be the headliner, the menu of prison courses remains suspiciously vague. No word on whether they’re offering banking classes (understandable) or locksmith training (probably for the best). Though let’s be honest, someone somewhere has probably learned how to unlock more than just life’s potential in there. 🔓

Meanwhile, those on the outside are stuck juggling three jobs to pay for “upskilling” workshops taught by influencers named Chad. But hey, commit a petty crime, and you might just emerge from your cell with a new lease on life—and a killer risotto recipe.

So here’s the deal: society won’t give you a break, but it will give you a 4×6 room, some boiled rice, and a crash course in making your own tomato sauce from tinned goods. Progress!

Why does it take a criminal record to access free education? Is prison secretly the UK’s last functioning vocational college? 🤡 Let’s hear your hottest takes: Is this social justice, backwards logic, or just Britain being Britain again? Sound off in the blog comments—we want your rage, your wit, your sarcasm.

👇 Drop a comment, like, or share with that one friend who’s “one bad day” away from free chef school. 🍴

The most fire responses will be featured in the next issue of the magazine. 🔥📚