Sir Keir Starmer dusted off that origin story again — you know, the one where his dad was a toolmaker. Because nothing screams “relatable” like shoehorning blue-collar credibility into every speech like it’s a Spotify advert. The problem? Even the crowd behind him looked like they were mentally scrolling TikTok.
😐 The Faces Say It All…
You can always tell a speech is landing well when the audience behind you looks like they’re silently begging for a fire alarm to go off. In this now-iconic frame:
• Blonde woman = 2 seconds from a full eye-roll.
• Bearded guy = smirking like he’s seen this PowerPoint 6 times already.
• Bald bloke in glasses = processing trauma in real-time.
• Starmer = delivering “toolmaker” like it’s a punchline that’s aged like milk. 🥴
We get it. Your dad made tools. Great. But maybe stop treating it like it’s the new “I have a dream.” The working class doesn’t need another life story; they need policies. The Labour leader’s recycled humblebrag is becoming less “grounded” and more “grinding.”
It’s not that people don’t care — it’s that they’ve heard it so many times it’s become the political version of “My dog ate my homework.” Try something new. Maybe mention the NHS? Housing? Or, radical idea: just say what you’re actually going to do?
🧯 Challenges 🧯
Are you inspired by Starmer’s dad-the-toolmaker origin story… or just exhausted from hearing it for the 93rd time?
Drop your best reactions, memes, or alternative “relatable” backstories in the blog comments. Let’s crowdsource a new speech opener.
👇 Hit comment, hit like, hit “please stop saying toolmaker.”
The funniest replies will be featured in the next magazine issue. 🔧🤣
Chameleon Magazine 
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