Just when Keir Starmer thought his biggest problem was explaining what he actually stands for, along comes an explosive leak — and it’s very Trump-flavoured. According to Lee Cohen’s eyebrow-singeing scoop, Donald J. Trump is cooking up a Brexit 2.0 plan to slam the EU’s borders shut. And guess who’s caught looking like a deer in the diplomatic headlights? Sir Keir, the man whose stance on Brexit is already more foggy than a Tuesday in Hull.
🧨 From “Take Back Control” to “Seal That Border!” – Now With Extra Trump™
It’s the plot twist no one ordered but everyone should’ve expected: Trump, possibly gearing up for Round Two in the Oval Office, now has his eyes on Europe. But this isn’t about handshakes or trade deals — it’s about building walls (metaphorical and possibly literal) between Brussels and, well, everyone else.
Enter Keir Starmer, who’s now forced to reckon with a world where:
- Trump is playing international Brexit DJ, spinning a remix across the Atlantic 🎧
- The EU might cozy up to harder borders just as Labour tries to patch up UK–EU relations 🤝
- Everyone’s talking about sovereignty again, and Keir’s still reading from the instruction manual
Starmer has spent months trying to walk the Brexit tightrope — “not rejoin, but also not ruin what’s left” — and now he’s got Trump blowtorching the rope from one end while EU leaders panic-Google “how to handle transatlantic populism.”
Meanwhile, the Tories are gleefully licking their chops. Because nothing makes a Labour leader squirm like being out-Brexited by a guy who once suggested nuking hurricanes.
🔥 Challenges 🔥
Is Brexit 2.0 about to go global? Is Starmer ready to handle Trump diplomacy or just praying he doesn’t have to? And who’s actually steering UK foreign policy — Westminster, Brussels, or Mar-a-Lago?
👇 Jump into the comments. Brexit isn’t done, Trump isn’t gone, and this story is just heating up.
The sharpest takes and spiciest predictions will be featured in the next issue of the magazine. 🌍💬
Chameleon Magazine 
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