Chameleon Magazine

Calls to rejoin the EU’s customs union aren’t just misguided—they’re like volunteering to be the houseplant in a burning building.

🧻 The Great European Re-Attachment Fantasy

Ah yes, the dream of returning to the loving, bureaucratic arms of Brussels. Where unelected commissioners roam free, fish quotas dictate national identity, and the solution to everything is… another committee. 🌐📉

The Lib Dems, in their eternal quest to cosplay as sensible grown-ups, are once again fluttering around the idea of a customs union with the EU. Not full membership, not total freedom—just the bit where we get all the rules and none of the votes. A brilliant idea if you’re into economic masochism or just miss filling out carbon paper in triplicate.

Meanwhile, some Labour MPs are whispering sweet nothings about how re-coupling with Europe will fix everything from trade woes to the price of Greggs sausage rolls. Because obviously, we didn’t just spend years trying to untangle ourselves from EU spaghetti only to re-wrap it around our ankles like cling film in a hurricane. 🌪️

Let’s be honest: Europe isn’t the utopian utopia that Europhiles daydream about on their Interrail trips. There’s backroom dealing, economic stagnation, and a democratic deficit large enough to throw your sovereignty into and never hear the splash. But sure, let’s pretend the customs union is some magical portal to prosperity instead of what it really is: the worst of both worlds.

No control. No say. No escape clause. But hey—you get to feel morally superior while your economy becomes a glorified warehouse for Brussels’ red tape. 🎀📦

🔥 Challenges 🔥

Why are we so obsessed with crawling back to a system that wasn’t working when we left it? Should we trade independence for faux stability? Or is this just political nostalgia dressed up in an EU flag? Sound off in the blog comments—don’t let the conversation get lost in the Brussels fog.

👇 Comment, share, and tag someone who still thinks the EU was a flawless fairyland.

The sharpest takes will be featured in our next magazine issue. 💬🔥