🌍💥2026 is coming in hot—with higher bills, more taxes, and ministers acting like Excel is a climate plan.
🪫 The “Plan” Is Just Panic in a Tie
First, we killed North Sea oil—before building anything to replace it. Now we import the same oil, at higher cost, and pretend that’s eco-friendly.
Then we bet the house on wind power… but forgot to upgrade the grid. So we pay wind farms not to make electricity. Seriously.
Fuel duty fell (because fewer people drive petrol cars). So now? We’re taxing electric cars just because they exist. Pay-per-mile is coming—surveillance not included… yet.
The result?
- You’re punished for using fuel.
- Then punished for not using fuel.
- Then taxed for moving at all.
Meanwhile, the grid can’t cope, the tax system is duct-taped together, and politicians call it “long-term planning.” 😂
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Challenges
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Confused? Furious? Fantastic. Vent below. This isn’t a plan—it’s a parody with a carbon footprint. Drop your comments like offshore oil barrels. 🛢️🔥
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Top roasts will be featured in the next magazine issue. 🧨📝
Chameleon Magazine 
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