Chameleon Magazine

While the family feasts at the palace, Prince Andrew is tucked away like the cranberry sauce nobody asked for.

👑 Turkeys at the Table, One Duke in the Dark

Ah yes, the royal Christmas lunch: Sandringham-bred turkey, duchesses in designer red, and just enough scandal left off the guest list to preserve the gravy boat’s dignity.

Princess Beatrice and Eugenie arrived beaming, presumably after triple-checking the seating plan for one notable absentee—dear old Dad. Prince Andrew, once centre-stage in royal life (and several BBC News specials), now finds himself the ghost of Christmas past… legal past, that is.

It’s not exactly surprising. When you’re dodging questions from American lawyers like you’re playing a royal-themed game of dodgeball, maybe skipping the stuffing is for the best. After all, nothing ruins a festive lunch quite like being served subpoenas with the bread sauce.

King Charles, ever the image of royal continuity, made sure the family gathering ticked all the boxes:

✅ Turkey

✅ Tinsel

✅ Terrifying PR risk not invited

Because nothing says modern monarchy like performing damage control with a side of Brussels sprouts.

Still, it’s a curious contrast: the gilded gates of tradition swing wide for the royal cousins, while Andrew—once dubbed “Randy Andy,” now “Vanishing Andy”—is relegated to the shadows like the forgotten subplot of a bad Netflix docuseries.

🎁 Challenges 🎁

Is Andrew’s absence a sign the Firm is finally taking accountability seriously—or just another royal reshuffle to protect the brand over the truth? Should he be iced out of the festivities or front and centre answering questions? Tell us what you think in the blog comments. 💬❄️

👇 Like, share, and drop your royal roast below. Because nothing says Christmas like family politics… and actual politics.

📝 Best comments featured in the next issue—no palace invite required.