It’s official—December has reached DEFCON 1. We’ve entered that sacred phase of the month when rational humans transform into rabid snow-dusted gremlins, sprinting down Tesco aisles like it’s the Hunger Games: Turkey Edition.
🦃 If You Touch That Stuffing, I Swear to God
You can feel it in the air—pine-scented panic and passive-aggressive carols. The car parks are war zones. The turkey freezer aisle? Bloodsport. Aunt Janet’s already 4 proseccos deep and screaming about pigs in blankets like she’s defending her homeland.
It’s the time of year when grown adults lose their minds over discount yule logs, and someone will die for the last Baileys truffle. Hoarding escalates. Logic vanishes. We’re all racing around supermarkets at 150mph, snatching up “essentials” like goose fat, eight types of chutney, and decorative nuts no one has cracked since 1997.
Why? Because someone might need it. And if they need it, you must have it. That’s Christmas logic, baby. 🧠❄️
No one knows what they’re cooking. No one knows who’s coming over. All we know is we need more cheese. More EVERYTHING. And if Brenda from HR puts her hands on that camembert, it’s going down in aisle seven.
🎁 Challenges 🎁
Are you in the madness? Have you wrestled a pensioner for a pavlova? Shouted “THERE’S NO PARSNIPS LEFT!” in public? We need to hear about your descent into holiday hysteria. Bonus points for absurd trolley contents and supermarket showdowns. 🛒💣
👇 Comment, like, share—give us your Christmas chaos stories. The worst (or best) tales will sleigh their way into the next issue of the mag. 🎅📢
Let’s unwrap this madness together.
Chameleon Magazine 
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