🗑️🎄Ah yes, the season of joy, overeating, and wondering if the empty Buck’s Fizz bottle should go in blue, green, or mystical rainbow bin. And as mountains of wrapping paper rise and leftover turkey carcasses begin fermenting in the December damp, the question rears its rancid, recyclable head: Should we get an extra bin collection over Christmas?
🎁 Deck the Halls with Bags of Rubbish
You’d think this would be a no-brainer.
More people at home + more food + more packaging + more booze = MORE TRASH.
But no, in classic British fashion, councils respond with:
“Please be advised, your collection has moved… to never.”
🎅🗓️❌
Instead of sending out the bin lorry with seasonal cheer, they often cancel a week and call it “efficiency.” So while the public drowns in Prosecco bottles and Amazon boxes, the council sends a polite reminder to flatten your cardboard and suppress your despair.
And who suffers most?
Not Karen with her colour-coded compost regime.
Not the minimalist bachelor with a single Baileys bottle.
No—it’s the family of six, drowning in glitter-covered cardboard, turkey bones, and shame.
We’re told to “plan ahead” for bin day changes like it’s an elite-level logistics operation.
I’m sorry, Steve from Council Comms, but I didn’t plan to have 47 Quality Street wrappers and a surprise defrosted prawn ring rotting in the sun because you’ve decided bin collection is “non-essential during peak waste week.”
It’s not just about convenience. It’s about public hygiene, local sanity, and preventing the annual phenomenon of Fox Christmas—when bins are left so long that local wildlife hosts its own Boxing Day buffet.
So yes, an extra collection is the bare minimum. Either that or issue everyone a hazmat suit, a pitchfork, and the mental resilience to walk past a wheelie bin that smells like a Stilton graveyard.
🔥 Challenges 🔥
Have you reached the limit of your festive waste tolerance? Are your bins now structural extensions of your house? Should we stage a coup at the town hall until we get a Boxing Day bin run? Let it out—loudly and festively. 🗣️🔥🎁
👇 Sound off in the comments.
Extra points if you can describe your overflowing bin using only Christmas metaphors.
Top rants get published. Worst excuses get binned. 💬🎯
Chameleon Magazine 
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