Apparently, maths is optional — but political “guidance” is extra credit. Across UK classrooms, students are flunking basic numeracy, yet some teachers have decided their real job is to steer teens toward the “correct” political party. You know, because what Britain needs most right now is a generation that can’t calculate interest rates but knows which MP hates oat milk.
🏫 From Times Tables to Talking Points
Let’s be blunt: schools are meant to teach thinking, not what to think.
But when you’ve got pupils leaving school without being able to divide a pizza fairly, maybe don’t spend your PSHE lesson performing a party-political monologue disguised as “civic engagement.” 🍕🧮❌
This isn’t about free speech — it’s about priorities. If literacy rates are sinking and kids think 8% of £100 is £25, maybe the party that needs promoting is the one with a working maths department.
We now have teachers who couldn’t explain compound interest but will confidently explain why you’re a fascist for questioning Net Zero targets.
It’s like the curriculum got hijacked by Twitter threads in human form. 🤳📚
Meanwhile, Britain’s global education rankings continue to slide. But don’t worry — at least little Freddie knows how to boycott a politician he heard about on TikTok.
What next? Detentions for disagreeing with the staffroom consensus? Algebra replaced with “activism hour”? At this rate, the only math lesson left is: Ideology > Education.
🧠 Challenges 🧠
Why are we churning out politically programmed parrots who can’t read a payslip or balance a budget?
Shouldn’t we demand teachers focus on teaching, not preaching?
👇 Sound off in the comments: Are schools becoming lecture halls for ideology or safe havens for independent thought?
Drop your best takes — the sharpest will make it into the next issue. No calculators required. 💬🔥
Chameleon Magazine 
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