Chameleon Magazine

First it was the pubs. Now it’s the salons. Britain’s Labour MPs are rapidly becoming the least welcome guests at the nation’s two most sacred institutions: the boozer and the barber’s chair. In a spectacular show of sass and scissors, hairdressers are downing their combs and joining pub landlords in barring Labour MPs, including Sir Keir “Can-I-speak-to-the-manager” Starmer, over spiralling business rates.

Let’s just say… it’s about to get shaggy. And thirsty. Very, very thirsty.

✂️ No Trim, No Tonic, No Tolerance

Picture this: Labour MPs wandering the streets like extras from a rejected Peaky Blinders reboot—greying temples, split ends flapping in the wind, fading dye jobs that scream “mid-life crisis in Islington.” Add to that their newfound pariah status at local pubs, and you’ve got a tragicomic parade of dry throats and dried-out perms.

All because they didn’t think strangling small businesses with ridiculous rate hikes would come back to bite them—in the hairline and the hangover.

It’s almost poetic: the same MPs who championed “supporting local business” are now ghosted by the very locals they priced out. No pint. No parting. No mercy.

You know you’ve lost the plot when Linda from Scissors & Sass bans you before your own party does.

Maybe this is the grassroots revolution Britain really needs: a movement powered by stylists, publicans, and people who’ve had it with political mannequins who only show up for photo ops and free Prosecco.

💥 Challenges 💥

Ever wanted to see a politician with six-inch roots and a DIY fringe? Or watch one fumble for a lukewarm lager at a Wetherspoons while being shunned by every barstool philosopher in the room? You might not have to wait long.

🔥 Drop your hottest take in the blog comments—do they deserve the cold shoulder, the cold pint, or both?

🔥 Would you ban them from your business?

🔥 Who’s next? Nail techs? Dog groomers? Psychic mediums?

👇 Comment below. Like it. Share it. Let’s get messy. 💬🎯

The spiciest comments will feature in the next issue of the magazine. 🧨💈