Chameleon Magazine

 🛋️💸This morning on Good Morning Britain, two MPs did what MPs do best: yell over each other while dodging the point entirely. The topic? Whether a defeated former MP—who got thrashed at the ballot box and is, by all accounts, politically expired—should be lobbed into the House of Lords like it’s some sort of gold-plated PIP scheme for the politically unemployed.

Because obviously, what the country desperately needs is another dusty has-been in ermine robes making decisions with all the relevance of a fax machine in 2025.

🧓🎭 From Ballot Bin to Velvet Bench: The Great British Retirement Scheme

Let’s recap: this MP was rejected by the voters, rejected by the moment, and arguably rejected by reality itself. And yet here we are, watching a national breakfast show serve up a piping hot debate on whether he deserves a lifetime appointment to one of the cushiest gigs in the kingdom.

Pensions? No need. Public respect? Optional. Electoral success? Laughable. All you need is a few pals in the right party and boom—you’re swanning around Westminster like a moth-eaten monarch, sipping subsidised claret and voting on things you don’t understand.

And the real kicker? These Lords don’t even have to show up every day. Just park your aristocratic backside for a few minutes and ker-ching, £380 lands in your account. That’s not a job—it’s a waiting room for irrelevance with a snack trolley.

Meanwhile, if you’re on PIP, you have to prove you’re not faking your disability by performing bureaucratic gymnastics under fluorescent lighting, only to be told your lifelong illness “might improve with positive thinking and yoga.” But if you’re a failed MP? Your reward is a red cloak and eternal influence.

We’ve turned the House of Lords into a care home for unwanted politicians—only with better upholstery and fewer inspections. 🎩🛏️

Why are we debating this like it’s noble tradition and not a constitutional episode of Storage Wars? Shouldn’t we be asking why the un-elected are still making laws for the rest of us? Rage, rant, or roast—drop your take in the comments section on the blog (not just Facebook, you cowards). 💬🔥

👇 Smash that comment button. Clap. Share. Throw a peerage in the bin.

💥 The best comments will be featured in the next issue of the magazine. You could become more relevant than half the House of Lords.