Chameleon Magazine

America just added a brand-new state. No vote. No treaty. Just vibes, oil, and a suspiciously quiet Congress.

🛢️ Manifest Destiny: Now With More Petroleum

So, here we are. The land of the free just annexed Venezuela like it was adding a bonus room to the house — no planning permission, no formalities, and definitely no international consensus. According to an extremely confident man on TV, Venezuela is now a U.S. state. He didn’t blink, he didn’t elaborate, and he didn’t even offer a PowerPoint. Naturally, the markets responded like it was gospel and the flag manufacturers started drafting their next migraine.

Forget diplomacy. This is statehood by executive swagger.

🎖️ New Slogan: “E Pluribus Petroleum”

The perks of becoming a state, according to absolutely no confirmed documentation, include rebranding crippling sanctions as “fiscal training wheels” and renaming oil fields as eco-friendly “national parks with infrastructure.” Elections? On hold — indefinitely — due to a suspiciously vague condition called “regional turbulence.”

Passports are on offer, but only if Venezuelans promise not to inquire about things like sovereignty, democracy, or who signed the forms.

🧻 Congress, Doing What It Does Best: Absolutely Nothing

Congress is still trapped in a staring contest with itself. One senator shrugged and noted, “Well, the Constitution doesn’t explicitly say we can’t do this,” which is now apparently the standard for foreign policy decisions.

Legal scholars immediately began foaming at the mouth, only to be reminded that C-SPAN doesn’t command drone fleets.

🗺️ Cartographers File for Emotional Support Animals

Mapmakers are reportedly in meltdown. Atlases are being redrawn with one nervous hand, unsure if labeling Caracas as “Caracas, VA” is a career-ending move or a bold act of compliance. Meanwhile, global diplomats are speed-scrolling through the UN Charter like it’s a cursed legal thriller.

Other resource-rich nations are tentatively asking if statehood is up for grabs, preferably without conditions, elections, or eye contact.

🧃 Welcome to America: Please Ignore the Constitutional Tremor

This isn’t a statehood process. It’s a late-night infomercial for empire — act now and we’ll throw in electoral flexibility and a bonus star (duct-taped, obviously) on the flag. Is it legal? Unclear. Is it real? Uncertain. Is it happening? Apparently, yes.

And somewhere in Caracas — sorry, Caracas, VA — citizens are waking up to find that their country is now a zip code. 🇻🇪➡️🇺🇸

🔥 Challenges 🔥

Where were you when Venezuela became a state on live television? Shouldn’t there be… paperwork? A vote? At least a meme war? Is this geopolitical annexation or just America beta-testing colonialism 2.0 with branding?