Chameleon Magazine

Apparently, the UK’s bold new military tactic is to throw billions into the abyss and hope the enemy gets confused. A whopping £28 billion black hole in the defence budget has been “discovered,” as if it tunneled in overnight like some fiscal mole from hell. At this point, even NASA’s deep space telescopes are jealous of how many black holes the British government keeps uncovering.

🧾 Cloud-Based Accounting: Now With Extra Delusion

So where are all the “defence experts” and “economic planners”? Probably WFH with an oat milk flat white and a spreadsheet that forgot how to add. Budgeting for national defence used to mean tanks, boots, radar systems—not quantum wormholes swallowing cash faster than you can say “MOD audit.”

You’ve got ministers acting shocked—shocked!—that money went missing, despite approving enough procurement disasters to fuel a Marvel multiverse. 🤷‍♂️ The military can’t even recruit enough people to defend a Greggs, but somehow, there’s always enough money missing to fund an entire lunar colony.

Forget enemies abroad—we’re losing to basic arithmetic at home. Bring in a Year 6 maths teacher and a calculator from Poundland, and we might just salvage the national books.

Honestly, if the UK finds any more black holes, we’ll need Brian Cox to host the next Treasury Select Committee.

💥 Challenges 💥

Why are we still handing blank cheques to people who can’t count to ten without losing track at five? Why does every department suddenly “find” a black hole once it’s too late to do anything about it? Drop your savage takes, conspiracies, or comedy gold in the blog comments. 🕳️📉