Peter Mandelson has now unveiled the ultimate plot twist in political damage control: “I didn’t know Jeffrey Epstein was a predator… because I’m gay.” A bold new entry in the Excuses Hall of Fame—right between “the dog ate my emails” and “I was just holding it for a friend.”
🛡️ Gaydar Malfunction: Apparently That’s a Legal Defence Now
Let’s get this straight (or not?): being gay is now a shield from noticing sex crimes? That’s the logic Mandelson seems to be floating on, like a luxury yacht headed straight into a fogbank of moral oblivion. 🌫️🛥️
By this logic, your sexuality not only defines who you love—it also determines what crimes you’re able to perceive. Epstein’s decades-long trail of abuse, conviction, media coverage, and well-documented flight logs? Completely invisible, apparently, if you aren’t attracted to women. A sort of hetero-exclusive clairvoyance, if you will.
Meanwhile, we’re told to believe this was just an innocent connection between a high-powered politician and a registered sex offender whose entire address book was a who’s-who of the ethically bankrupt. Pure coincidence, nothing to see here, move along.
So what is Mandelson actually arguing? That gay men are naturally immune to being complicit in crimes committed by straight predators? That somehow his sexual orientation provided such a moral force field that no red flags penetrated?
Let’s be real: this isn’t about being gay. It’s about being powerful. And it’s about how, when the spotlight hits, some would rather throw glitter than accountability. 🌈💥
💣 Challenges 💣
When did personal identity become the ultimate “Get Out of Jail (Socially) Free” card? Does this excuse actually wash, or is it a desperation Hail Mary lobbed from a burning PR office? Drop your fury, your sarcasm, your side-eye in the blog comments 👀🔥
Chameleon Magazine 
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