Chameleon Magazine

 🧾💸🎭Richard Hermer—bestie of Labour leader Keir “I-don’t-know-him-like-that” Starmer and now the UK’s top legal watchdog—used to fight against the government in court on behalf of a Guantánamo detainee. Fast forward to now: he’s the Attorney General for the government… and that same detainee just got a taxpayer-funded payout. Plot twist? Nope. Just British politics on a full spin cycle.

🤝 Pals, Payouts & Public Pennies: The Starmer-Hermer Legal Bromance That Cost You

You really couldn’t invent this mess unless you were locked in a room with a bottle of port, a whiteboard, and absolutely no shame.

Let’s break it down for the folks in the back:

• Richard Hermer once legally represented Abu Zubaydah, a man detained without trial at Guantánamo Bay.
• Hermer is now Attorney General, whispering sweet legal nothings into Keir Starmer’s ear.
• Zubaydah sued the UK for its hand in his torture.
• The UK settled.
• You, dear reader, just helped foot the bill. 🧾💂‍♂️

The official line? “Hermer was recused.” The unofficial reaction? “Sure, Jan.”

This isn’t just about legal protocol—it’s about optics, ethics, and a fat public payout for something the British state has known was wrong for nearly two decades. And who oversaw the system that greenlit the settlement? The same legal network that’s now conveniently housed one of Zubaydah’s old defenders. A coincidence so pure, it belongs in a BBC drama starring a conflicted barrister with a dark past.

Meanwhile, Keir Starmer—himself a former Director of Public Prosecutions—acts like the legal equivalent of “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Of course, he and Hermer are tight. The kind of tight that gets you positions of power and multi-million-pound settlements swept under the rug.

So don’t worry, it’s all above board. As long as “above board” now means:

• defending a detainee,
• joining his opposition’s government,
• watching the government settle,
• and making sure your old mate gets justice—on the public’s tab.

Rule of law? Nah. This is the Rule of Mates™️.

🔥 Challenges 🔥

Where’s the outrage? Where’s the accountability? Why is the public paying hush money for historic torture while the people involved play career musical chairs in the Westminster echo chamber? If this doesn’t make you want to scream into the blog comments, what will? 🧠💣