Chameleon Magazine

 🌍🔥

If you still think this ends well, you’re not optimistic — you’re living in a parallel universe with reusable straws and no geopolitics.

☄️ Welcome to the Delusion Olympics: Gold Medal in Denial

Let’s be honest: we are spectacularly screwed on climate change, and anyone still chirping about “global cooperation” needs to look up from their eco-friendly tote bag and glance at literally any news headline. We can’t stop countries from bombing each other, sabotaging trade, or arguing over fishing rights — but somehow we’re meant to convince rapidly growing economies to voluntarily slow down, spend more, and sacrifice growth for a planet they’ve only just been invited to fully exploit? Sure. Right after we get everyone to agree on time zones.

The real comedy, though, isn’t international diplomacy — it’s the baseline failure of basic human behaviour. We talk about net zero while half the planet can’t be persuaded to put rubbish in a bin. Recycling? A fantasy. Litter picking? Apparently an act of heroism. We’ve skipped straight to carbon credits and climate summits without mastering the revolutionary concept of not throwing your own crap on the street.

This is what makes the whole thing so bleak: climate change doesn’t fail because the science is wrong — it fails because people are. Because cooperation is hard, discipline is boring, and inconvenience is unacceptable. The shock won’t be when temperatures spike or coastlines retreat — the shock will be when the optimists finally realise that good intentions don’t cancel out human nature.

This isn’t cynicism. It’s pattern recognition. 🌡️🗑️