Chameleon Magazine

Storm Goretti threw a tantrum—and now Sussex is knee-deep in soggy McShipfries.

🌀 From High Seas to High Cholesterol: A Starchy Surprise Hits the Beach

If you thought British beach holidays couldn’t get weirder than windbreakers, socks with sandals, and half-built sandcastles next to empty gin cans—you’d be wrong. Eastbourne just got hit with the most bizarre maritime disaster since the cod shortage of ’95: thousands of chips—yes, actual chips—have invaded the coastline.

Thanks to Storm Goretti, a cargo vessel doing its best Titanic impression dumped several containers into the drink, and now the English Channel is serving up battered potatoes without the fish. Picture the scene: confused seagulls, delighted kids, and local pensioners arguing about whether it’s safe to put vinegar on flotsam food. A soggy apocalypse of McCain proportions.

Some say it’s tragic waste. Others are calling it “a free side with your beach walk.” But here’s the real kicker: nobody seems to know which shipping company lost them, or who the chips were meant for. One minute they were on their way to a supermarket freezer aisle, the next they’re being raked into piles by council workers in hi-vis jackets muttering, “What the actual f–––?”

Meanwhile, Eastbourne’s local Facebook groups are aflame. “Can I eat them if I air fry them?” asks Carol, 54. No Carol. No.

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Challenges

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How does this even happen? Shouldn’t storm-proof shipping containers be… you know, proofed? And what’s next—waves of lasagne hitting Margate? Drop your wildest theories, chip recipes, and sarcastic digs in the blog comments (not just on TikTok, we beg you). 🌊🍴