Chameleon Magazine

In the red corner: Donald Trump, blaring like a foghorn, waving tariffs like confetti at a MAGA wedding.

In the blue corner: Sir Keir Starmer… quietly folding into a polite apology letter to Washington.

Yes, folks, it looks like if Trump takes the White House and slaps tariffs on the UK like last time, Sir Keir might respond with all the resistance of a wet crumpet in a hurricane. “Special Relationship,” they call it—though lately, it’s starting to look a lot more like a doormat audition.

🐕‍🦺 Fetch, Beg, Trade: Is This What Leadership Looks Like Now?

While Trump’s out there threatening to wall off global trade like a 1980s Bond villain, Starmer’s response seems to be, “Please, sir, may I have some more?” Not action. Not confrontation. Not even stern words. Just murmurs about “diplomacy” and a vague nod toward “cooperation.”

Cooperation? With a man who once tried to charge Britain tariffs on Scotch whisky and then forgot we existed for two years?

At some point, we have to ask: what’s the plan, Keir? Will Labour challenge a protectionist America or just politely accept economic kneecapping with a lukewarm shrug and a statement from the Foreign Office?

When even the French are preparing to spit back and throw wine bottles at Trump’s economic grenades, we’ve got Sir Keir penciling in another trade “roundtable.”

Is it really leadership if you’re just hoping the storm forgets to hit you?

🔥 Challenges 🔥

Has Starmer got the spine to stand up to Trump—or is he already oiling the hinges on the UK’s trade surrender? Should we expect more backbone or just more beige?