Chameleon Magazine

 🧓➡️🧟‍♂️As biotech billionaires, lab-coated longevity cultists, and government actuaries all collectively squeal with excitement over humans possibly living to 150, one quiet group isn’t popping champagne: literally everyone else. Because as medicine stretches lifespans like a yoga instructor on espresso, guess who else is stretching? Retirement ages. Pension plans. Your entire concept of a finish line.

🩺 The Wonder of Living Forever… on a Budget

Advances in anti-aging science are genuinely mind-blowing: cellular regeneration, gene editing, personalized medicine that promises to keep your body spry while your playlist still includes “Bohemian Rhapsody.” But as researchers imagine you hiking at 120, governments are imagining you working at 120.

Live longer? Sure.

Retire later? Absolutely.

Die? Only if your tax contributions are fully harvested. ☠️💸

The New Math: 65 is the New 37

Governments are already whispering sweet nothings like:

• “Maybe 85 is a young retirement age?”
• “Should pensions kick in at 112?”
• “Why not work till you die and leave your 3D-printed bones to science?”

Because if you live to 150, you’re not just outliving your great-grandkids—you’re outliving your own damn pension fund. 🎂💀

And don’t worry, corporate HR departments are already dreaming up slogans like:

• “Age is just a number. So is your hourly rate.”
• “We value experience. Just not your vacation time.”
• “Yes, you still need to attend team-building.” 👴📉

🧠 The Psychological Marathon No One Signed Up For

It’s all fun and immortality until year 114 when you’re still in Zoom meetings yelling, “You’re on mute!” while your great-great-grandchildren go clubbing in moon-based metaverse raves. Aging may be optional, but burnout is forever.

Want to see Paris at 140? Cool. You’ll just need to clock another 40 years of commuting, performance reviews, and pretending you understand what the interns are talking about.

🚨 Challenges🚨

Would you trade 85 years of chill for 60 more years of “just one more quarter”? Will biotech give us life, or just a longer deadline? And are you ready to apply for your third mortgage at 103?