Picture it: golden arches, sizzling fries, and a post-meal trail of wrappers fluttering across the pavement like greasy confetti. Welcome to Britain’s new national pastime—not eating fast food, but dumping it wherever the hell we feel like. And now, there’s a spicy new suggestion on the menu: a litter tax aimed squarely at the fast food empires stuffing profits while our streets fill with ketchup-stained shame.
💸🍟 Make the Grease Kings Pay for the Streets They Trash
It’s not exactly revolutionary. We already tax booze to fix the problems booze causes. So why are McBurger & Co. allowed to super-size their profits while council workers play litter whack-a-mole with their branded waste?
Think about it: you can’t find a bin outside a chicken shop, but you can find a tsunami of chips, cups, and polystyrene chaos within a 50-metre blast radius. It’s like a greasy breadcrumb trail from the nearest Greggs to a national identity crisis.
A litter tax would mean fast food companies finally pony up for the civic chaos they help create—paying for bins, street cleaning, and maybe even a few signs that say, “Hey genius, the bin’s literally right there.”
But brace yourself. You know the pushback’s coming. “Unfair to business!” “We can’t afford it!” Yeah? Neither can we afford to wade through a McFlurry swamp on our school run, Dave.
This isn’t about punishing people for a chicken nugget craving. It’s about corporate accountability. You made the mess. Now pay the bloody cleaner.
🧼 Challenges 🧼
Is this genius or garbage? Would a litter tax fix Britain’s fast-food fallout, or just lead to pricier nuggets and more finger-pointing? Should we tax the Big Macs or the big mouths dropping them in gutters?
Chameleon Magazine 
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