Well, well, well. The House of Cards just got another plot twist. Bill and Hillary Clinton—America’s unofficial monarchy—are set to testify in the Epstein inquiry, like it’s just another campaign stop between book deals and global summits. Yes, the House Republicans finally threatened something sharper than a sternly worded letter: contempt proceedings. So now the Clintons will “give evidence.” Whatever that ends up meaning.
Meanwhile, across the pond, Prince Andrew is still dodging questions like a seasoned squash player. How is it that the Clintons are getting grilled before the royal who had a sleepover at Epstein’s townhouse and swore he doesn’t sweat?
👑 Royal Roulette: When Testimony is Optional for the Crowned
Let’s play a game called Accountability by Passport. The Clintons, for all their scandals and shady acquaintances, are at least sitting down to talk. But Andrew? His entire PR strategy seems to be “hide behind a moat and wait for the news cycle to get bored.”
If there’s one thing this investigation has made clear, it’s that justice is doled out based on political currency, not principle. The Clintons have the media stamina to walk through fire in matching pantsuits. Andrew’s hiding behind a corgi and a non-extradition agreement.
We’re watching a high-society Hunger Games where the real contest is who can avoid testifying the longest without getting subpoenaed in a tracksuit.
So yes, bring the Clintons to the table. Drag them under the light. But let’s not pretend this is the final boss fight. Not until Andrew answers some real questions that don’t involve Pizza Express in Woking.
🔎 Challenges 🔎
Why do some elites get summoned while others are shielded by crowns and courtiers? Should Andrew finally be forced to testify? Or are we just watching another performance of the “illusion of justice” theater?
Chameleon Magazine 
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