☕📺If breakfast television were a sport, this was a red card and a VAR check for emotional damage. Steve Reed took a seat on Good Morning Britain expecting a friendly segment—until Suzanne Reid committed British media’s cardinal sin: asking what the Prime Minister knew about Peter Mandelson.
What followed wasn’t an interview. It was a séance. Reed didn’t answer questions—he channelled spirits. Mostly Mandelson’s.
🔮 Hindsight, Hypnosis & the Blame-Deflection Olympics
Reed’s flailing defence came in a tidy little gift bag:
- Hindsight™ – that mystical substance used to explain everything and excuse everyone.
- The Security Services Were Busy – possibly investigating… other royal entanglements. (Something something Prince Andrew. Say no more.)
- The Prime Minister Knew Nothing – again. Always again. The man’s a walking blank page in a suit.
At one point it genuinely looked like Mandelson—here appearing as The Dark Lord—had snapped his fingers off-camera and dropped Reed straight back into trance mode. Eyes glazed. Mouth moving. Accountability… gone. 🌀
Reed didn’t just dodge responsibility—he flung it under the wheels of MI5. According to him, the very agencies paid to vet government insiders were too distracted to notice Vlad the Peer Impaler floating back into power. Sure. That tracks.
And while the nation wonders why no one flagged this sooner, Reed reassures us that it was all invisible at the time. Totally unforeseeable. Like a vampire walking into a mirror shop.
But the real tragedy? The only thing that kills a vampire is a wooden stake—and Ed Miliband’s too busy planting trees to part with one. 🌱🪵
When a politician’s grip on reality is looser than the PM’s grip on accountability, wooden stakes stop sounding symbolic and start sounding like urgent procurement items.
🔥 Challenges 🔥
Why does every scandal end with hindsight riding in like a PR paramedic?
Why are civil servants always blamed—while politicians glide away untouched?
And why do interviews implode the second someone asks an actual question?
Chameleon Magazine 
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