Chameleon Magazine

The Palace of Westminster is currently guzzling around £1.5 million every single week just to stay upright and not kill anyone. That’s a cool £78 million per year — and this isn’t for gold-plating Big Ben or installing unicorn stables in the House of Lords. No, no — this is just the price tag to patch leaks, stop falling masonry, and prevent the place from spontaneously combusting. Deep restoration? That’s another royal headache scheduled for the next budgetary black hole.

🏚️ The World’s Most Expensive Fire Hazard in a Fancy Hat

Here’s a quick DIY tip: if your house starts needing millions a week just to not collapse on you, it’s probably time to move. Unless you’re the UK Parliament, in which case you just throw another barrow-load of taxpayer cash into the 19th-century furnace and hope the ceiling doesn’t fall on Jacob Rees-Mogg during Prime Minister’s Questions.

We’re talking about a building where rats, asbestos, leaking sewage, and failing electrics are regular guests. If the Palace of Westminster were an Airbnb, it’d be flagged as a haunted house run by feral badgers. Yet somehow, instead of decamping to a temporary venue while serious restoration begins, MPs and Lords choose to keep playing legislative roulette in a glorified Gothic death trap — because nothing screams “responsible governance” like nearly dying under ornamental cornices.

Also, let’s be real: it’s not just about heritage. It’s about aesthetic suffering for the rest of us. They want the gravitas of ancient architecture while delivering 21st-century nonsense. It’s like broadcasting Love Island from Stonehenge.

£78 million a year… for what? So lawmakers can deliver reheated austerity speeches from the literal bowels of a money-eating monster? Honestly, even Hogwarts had fewer maintenance issues — and that place was actively trying to kill students.

🔥 Challenges 🔥

Why are we bankrolling this crumbling cathedral of chaos like it’s the Louvre, when most of us can’t get a dentist appointment or a non-moldy flat? Should the government relocate? Should Parliament rent a WeWork? Should we just admit the whole system is being held together with scaffolding and stubborn denial? 💥🛠️