King Charles says he’s “profoundly concerned” about Prince Andrew’s Epstein entanglements—and by that he means concerned enough to send thoughts and prayers, but not enough to open the palace gates or let sunlight anywhere near those velvet drapes.
👮♂️The Royal We Will Cooperate—But Only If It’s in Latin and Redacted
After years of awkward silences, royal reshuffles, and one spectacularly cringeworthy BBC interview, the monarchy is finally ready to “work with police.” Translation: issue a vague statement, clutch some pearls, and wait for the whole thing to quietly decompose under legal fog and institutional amnesia.
Meanwhile, the police—renowned for investigating powerful men with all the urgency of a tortoise in a coma—will probably launch a year-long operation named something noble like Operation Distraction. It’ll include interviews, coffee, memos, more coffee, and then conclude with:
🕵️ “We found nothing because the Americans won’t share.”
📁 “Case closed due to lack of jurisdiction and sunlight.”
Let’s be honest. If you or I had even one photo with Epstein, we’d be on a no-fly list and our phones would be melting from all the warrants. But Prince Andrew? He’s out here on horse rides, dodging subpoenas like it’s a sport, and insisting he doesn’t sweat.
And now, with King Charles expressing “support,” we’re supposed to believe the Firm is suddenly all about accountability? Please. This is less a new era of justice, and more an elaborate game of hide-and-seek played in palaces, with taxpayer-funded legal counsel.
If the truth ever does come out, it won’t be because anyone in ermine robes handed it over—it’ll be despite them.
🧨 Challenges 🧨
Still trusting the Crown’s commitment to justice? Still buying the idea that elite institutions will investigate themselves? Think again. Sound off in the blog comments—don’t just rage on social. Your voice matters where it counts. 🗣️⚖️
👇 Drop a comment, smash that like, share if you’re tired of golden immunity passes.
The sharpest takes will be published in the next print issue—no redactions. 📝🔥
Chameleon Magazine 
Leave a comment