🪙💨You don’t own cryptocurrency—you rent an idea, pay tolls to think about it, and then get charged again when you want to return to reality. The promise of “digital ownership” dissolves the moment you try to actually use it for anything more complicated than bragging online.
🤡 Decentralised Delusion, Centralised Fees
Let’s expand the myth. Crypto fans chant “you own your money” like it’s a sacred spell. But what do you really own? Not land. Not equity. Not a factory, a patent, or even a chair you can sit on. You own… numbers. Floating, permissioned numbers that only matter as long as everyone else agrees they matter. The second sentiment shifts, those numbers turn into confetti 🎉.
And the comedy doesn’t stop there. Want to use your crypto? That’ll cost you.
Want to convert it into something useful—like food, rent, or electricity? That’ll cost you again.
Want to move it? Fee.
Want to secure it? Fee.
Want to mess it up and send it to the wrong address? Congratulations—you’ve just burned money in a digital bonfire 🔥 with no customer service, no refund, and no adult supervision.
Crypto is the only “asset” where accessing your own wealth feels like paying ransom to yourself.
The fallacy is calling this “ownership.” Ownership implies control, stability, and utility. Crypto offers volatility, gatekeepers in hoodies, and a prayer that the exchange doesn’t collapse overnight. You don’t hold crypto—it holds you, hostage to transaction costs, market mood swings, and the eternal promise that adoption is just around the corner. Spoiler: that corner keeps moving 🏃♂️💸.
At best, it’s speculative math cosplay. At worst, it’s a toll road built entirely of hype, where the house always gets paid—whether you win, lose, or simply try to leave.
🔥 Challenges 🔥
If crypto is “the future of money,” why does it need so many middlemen, fees, and apologies? Why does an “asset” feel useless the moment you want to use it? Is this innovation—or just a very expensive spreadsheet with vibes? Drop your hottest take in the blog comments, not just the socials. 💬⚡
👇 Comment. Like. Share.
Tell us whether crypto is financial freedom—or just numbers wearing a leather jacket.
The sharpest comments will be featured in the next issue of the magazine 📝🔥
Chameleon Magazine 
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