🚗💦As Britain’s skies continue their monsoon cosplay, electric vehicles across the nation have officially been grounded—not for speeding, not for pollution, but because water and electricity are apparently still not friends. That’s right: EVs have been politely asked to stay in their driveways like damp, expensive lawn ornaments, while their petrol cousins gleefully splash through puddles like feral ducks.
One electric Mini was last seen sulking under a tarp, softly humming Coldplay’s “Fix You.”
🪫 EVs Soaked and Sad, Petrolheads Smug and Smirking
Authorities, in an act of pure British diplomacy, issued the following statement:
“Please avoid using electric vehicles in deep floodwater, unless you’re aiming for a light show and early cremation.”
Meanwhile, EV owners have begun referring to their Teslas as “indoor furniture.” One man in Leeds has placed a vase of daffodils on his Model 3 and is now calling it “The Lounge Extension.”
Elsewhere, an EV charging station in Surrey was spotted floating past a Waitrose, blinking helplessly like R2-D2 having an existential crisis. Engineers are advising drivers not to attempt “urban kayaking while plugged in,” although one influencer did try it for TikTok and now emits a faint buzz every time he blinks.
Of course, petrolheads have seized the moment. “Bet you wish you’d stuck with diesel now, eh?” smirked one soggy Ford Focus driver as he hydroplaned past a stranded Nissan Leaf doing its best impression of a tragic submarine.
It’s not just the cars, either—charging cables have become sentient snakes of doom, charging points resemble small waterfalls, and there’s a growing black market for dry extension leads and umbrella-holding gnomes.
Should we just admit defeat and convert all electric vehicles into floatation devices? Why hasn’t Elon Musk launched the Tesla Canoe? Are we finally about to see the rise of amphibious mopeds? 🛶⚡
Let it all out below. Cry-laugh. Rant. Propose floodproof EV mods or just roast the fact that your £40k car is now afraid of puddles. 💬🔥
👇 Comment. Share. Tag someone who names their EV and now tucks it in at night.
Funniest takes will be featured in Chameleon’s next issue. 🛠️😂
Chameleon Magazine 
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