Chameleon Magazine

Do you have problems sleeping?

Of course you do. You wouldn’t be reading this at 3:17 a.m. if you didn’t.

Now, people will tell you it’s the coffee, or the blue light, or stress from work. They’ll tell you to breathe deeply, count sheep, and buy mattresses so expensive they come with a monthly repayment plan. (Because nothing relaxes you like debt.)

But the truth is simpler. And far worse.

Here’s why you can’t sleep:

At night, when you lie still enough, something leans in close. It’s not in the wardrobe, not under the bed, not in the walls — it’s in the gap between your last waking thought and your first dream. That’s where it waits. A presence without a name, pressing gently on your chest, just heavy enough to remind you that sleep isn’t always safe.

You’re not sure, but something’s there. It’s not physical, but it’s there, replaying every mistake you thought you made. They call it insomnia, but for me I just… I can’t clear my brain. The thing loves that you blame yourself.

The moment you drift off, it stirs. It whispers and the doubts in your head slip free of their cage: you lose your job, your partner leaves, your teeth fall out, your alarm doesn’t ring, the presentation flops, the plane crashes. You wake gasping, sweating, heart racing, and laugh nervously: “Oh, just a dream.”

But it wasn’t. Not really.

You see, the reason you can’t sleep is because you wakened it up, and it won’t shut off, it won’t let go, it never wants to.

So tonight, when you’re staring at the ceiling, trying to remember if you locked the front door, know this: you are alone.

So now you are alone in the dark, here are seven top tips for helping you sleep:

1. Keep a bedtime routine – The thing in the gap hates rhythm. If you go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, it struggles to slip in unnoticed.

2. Screen cut-off – The glow of your phone is like a beacon for it. Switch off the screens an hour before bed and leave it wandering in the dark, hungry and confused.

3. Write it out – Keep a notepad by the bed. Pour every buzzing thought onto the page. The thing can only whisper doubts you still carry; once they’re on paper, it has nothing left to chew.

4. Dark, cool, quiet – It thrives in chaos. Make your room steady: 18°C, blackout curtains, earplugs if needed. A calm cave is harder for it to enter.

5. Caffeine and booze watch – Both loosen the locks on your mind. Cut caffeine after 2 p.m. and keep alcohol light. The thing loves an easy door. Don’t give it one.

6. Wind-down ritual – Stretch, read, sip something warm. Think of it like drawing protective symbols around yourself. Your body learns the language, and the gap grows thinner.

7. Get out if you can’t sleep – Don’t lie there waiting for it. If you’re awake more than 20 minutes, get up, do something calm, and come back only when you’re tired. The thing hates being ignored.

And remember: you don’t have to believe in it for it to believe in you. Sleep well tonight. It promised me it won’t be waiting for you!