Chameleon Magazine

 🏃‍♀️📉Bridget Phillipson has sprinted past the Labour MP threshold with more than 80 nominations, which apparently counts as “huge momentum.” But before we start etching her name onto the deputy leader’s office door, let’s remember — momentum doesn’t mean competence. After all, avalanches also have momentum, and they mostly end in rubble.

🎓 From Education Secretary to Self-Promotion Secretary

Let’s be real: as Education Secretary, Phillipson has been less “inspiring reformer” and more “supply teacher trying to stop Year 9 from setting the bin on fire.” Her grand vision for education so far? Whiteboards, buzzwords, and pretending to know what TikTok is. If her handling of schools is the audition, giving her more power is like promoting the DJ who keeps clearing the dance floor.

And yet here she is, pitching herself as Labour’s deputy leader — because if there’s one thing this party thrives on, it’s promoting the underwhelming into positions where they can disappoint on a national stage. Why should she not be in the running? Simple: because “competent PowerPoint presenter” shouldn’t be the pinnacle of political achievement.

She’s not deputy material — she’s the background noise you forget is in the Cabinet until she pops up on BBC Breakfast, armed with the charisma of a damp Weetabix. If Labour want someone to nod earnestly while achieving very little, sure, she’s your woman. If they want a deputy who might actually inspire the public… well, maybe check the lost property box at Westminster, you’ll find better candidates.

🔥 Challenges 🔥

Is Bridget Phillipson the future of Labour’s leadership team, or just proof that “rising star” really means “we ran out of other names”? Drop your roasts, rants, or reluctant defences in the comments. 💬🔥

👇 Comment. Like. Share. Give Bridget the kind of honest feedback she’ll never get from her nomination squad.

The sharpest takes will be featured in the next issue of the magazine. 🪓📝