Scotland has finally found the one enemy too powerful for Holyrood to handle: seagulls. Forget economic crises, health service chaos, or climate change—apparently, it’s the winged sky-thieves with a taste for chips that have politicians resigning, colleagues bickering, and the public ducking for cover. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, democracy is on its knees… and it’s covered in guano.
🐟 “Mayhem by the Beakful” in Parliament
It turns out that while seagulls are busy terrorising pensioners for their pasties on the High Street, MSPs are losing their grip on reality in the chamber. Reports of “heated arguments” over how to tackle Scotland’s gull problem spiralled into walkouts, shouting matches, and resignations. Not since Braveheart has Scotland seen this level of chaotic resistance—except this time it’s not English invaders, it’s dive-bombing sky-rats who couldn’t care less about borders.
Imagine the meeting notes:
- Motion 1: Ban feeding gulls.
- Motion 2: Deploy falcons.
- Motion 3: Arm citizens with umbrellas and a deep sense of shame.
Somewhere in this feathered fiasco, ministers apparently decided their careers weren’t worth surviving a beak to the skull and resigned. Truly, the birds are winning. If Alfred Hitchcock were alive, he’d be laughing his wings off. 🎥🕊️
🔥 Challenges 🔥
Why are Scotland’s lawmakers unseated by seagulls when the rest of us just swear at them and hold on to our chips? Should we elect a flock of herring gulls to Parliament and call it a day? Or maybe just hand every citizen a hard hat and declare martial bird law?
💬 Drop your best gull-proof solutions—or your worst seagull horror stories—in the blog comments. Do it before the gulls get to you.
👇 Comment, like, share… and if a gull steals your phone mid-post, we’ll count it as an automatic “like.”
The sharpest responses will be published in the next issue of the magazine. 📝✨
Chameleon Magazine 
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