Chameleon Magazine

 🌱💚👙Move over wind farms and carbon credits—the Green Party’s got a new kind of uplift. Zack Polanski, Leader, eco-hypnotist, and part-time chest-enhancement guru (seriously, Google it), is apparently bringing in recruits with the kind of incentive you won’t find in the Labour or Tory manifestos.

The pitch? Join the Greens, and your loved one might walk away with a fuller cup size and a deeper understanding of proportional representation. Two for one: political awakening and décolletage enhancement. What’s not to love? 💁‍♀️🌍

🌀 From Climate Policy to Cleavage Hypnosis

Yes, this actually happened. Before Zack was delivering speeches on sustainability and shouting at fossil fuel billionaires, he was offering hypnosis for breast enlargement. A truly elevated approach to party growth. 🧠➡️🎈

And now, if you’re looking to boost your environmental credentials and bra size in one shot, the Green Party might just be your spiritual home.

Sure, other parties offer tax cuts, council seats, or the occasional dodgy peerage—but only Zack “Mesmerise Your Mammaries” Polanski offers the power of suggestion in the fight for the planet.

We’re not saying Greta Thunberg signed up for this—but she must be curious.

And remember, this is a first-time offer. Act now before it gets banned by Ofcom, or worse, adopted by the Lib Dems. 📣📵

🍃 Challenges 🍃

Has political campaigning finally jumped the shark—and landed on a trampoline? Is eco-hypnosis the future of movement building? Would you trust a man in hemp trousers to recalibrate your chakras and your chest?

💬 Let’s hear your thoughts in the comments.

Would you join a political party for perks of the physical kind?

👇 Click, comment, like, and share—before someone tries to hypnotise you into voting for net zero and net gain at the same time.

Top comments will be featured in the next issue of the magazine. 🧠🔥