
As the clock struck βsomewhere past responsibility,β the lights in No.10 burned brightβnot with urgency, but with vibes. Sir Keir Starmer leaned back, blissfully detached, proudly wearing a badge that read βTrust me, Iβm a leader,β while asking the room, βWhat could possibly go wrong?ββa question no one seemed qualified (or conscious enough) to answer.
Around him, ministers dissolved into laughter, passing around what appeared to be the only policy getting unanimous support, while mugs labelled βI donβt know anythingβ and βMinister for Munchiesβ quietly doubled as mission statements. A crumpled schedule on the table laid it all out: smoke, snack, blame civil servants, napβ¦ governance, apparently, pencilled in for never.
Outside, Big Ben stood tall, marking time as the headlines rolled inββCountry in Chaosββbut inside, it was business as unusual. And in the corner, the Chief Mouser watched with the weary expression of someone who had seen empires rise, fallβ¦ and then forget what they were doing halfway through. ππ¨



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