💷🕳️🤣Falkirk Council says every pound is accounted for.
Excellent.
Because residents are still trying to account for the missing roads.
First stop: senior salaries.
There are so many managers, directors and strategic leaders that if Falkirk was invaded by potholes, there’d be enough people to hold a meeting about it.
Not fix it.
Just discuss it.
Next comes staffing costs.
For every person doing a job, there seems to be another person creating a policy, another reviewing it, and another arranging a workshop to discuss how the review aligns with the policy.
Then we reach social care.
This isn’t waste. It’s simply the council’s financial equivalent of a hungry hippo.
No matter how much money you throw at it, five minutes later it’s asking for another £20 million.
Finally, we arrive at capital projects.
This is the magical land where the council explains:
“We’re broke.”
Followed immediately by:
“Here’s a shiny new £40 million building.”
Apparently there’s money for everything except the thing you’re currently complaining about.
And so the mystery continues.
Council tax goes up.
Services go down.
The roads look like they’ve been shelled by artillery.
But don’t worry.
Every pound is fully accounted for.
It’s just that nobody can quite explain where it went. 🤷♂️💷
What’s the biggest waste of money you’ve seen in Falkirk?
A project? A salary? A pothole that’s been there so long it now has voting rights?
💬 Tell us in the comments.
The best comments will feature in the next issue of the magazine.
Chameleon Magazine 
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