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Puncturing an empty boat is a national crisis; letting violent offenders out early is just efficient administration. If you ever find yourself contemplating a life of crime in modern Britain, it is vital to get your priorities straight. If you rape, assault, or molest a child, you can reasonably expect a sympathetic nod from a…
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It is rare to see a political leader display such selfless restraint. According to whispers from Number 10, advisers have been frantically urging Prime Minister Andy Burnham to strike while the iron is hot, go to the country, and seal his mandate. Yet, in a display of heroic cowardice, Andy has courageously declared that he…
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The sacred British pie is shrinking. As you lace up your boots and head off to earn an honest crust, spare a thought for the arithmetic: 900 unannounced migrants arrived on our shores yesterday, each requiring a slice of a national pastry that is already stretched to its structural limits. The tax-paying baker works longer…

