So, it’s nearly that magical time again.
The supermarkets quietly move the hankies to the front shelves. Sports presenters begin stretching their vocal cords. Commentators start rehearsing the phrase “on another day” in front of the mirror.
Because England are heading into another major tournament. 🎺⚽
And as sure as night follows day, we’ll soon be treated to wall-to-wall coverage explaining why this is finally the year football comes home.
Again.
🎤 The Soundtrack of False Hope
Every tournament follows the same script.
First come the endless montages.
The dramatic music.
The black-and-white clips of 1966.
The presenters telling us this squad is different.
Then the fans start singing. Loudly. Constantly. Usually before a ball has even been kicked.
By the second week, you’ll struggle to walk through a pub, airport, shopping centre or service station without hearing a slightly out-of-tune rendition of “It’s Coming Home” from somebody who wasn’t alive the last time England won anything.
📺 Enter VAR: The Greatest Villain Since Darth Vader
Then comes the inevitable defeat.
And when it does, the search for excuses begins immediately.
Was it VAR?
Was it the referee?
Was it UEFA?
Was it the weather?
Was Mercury in retrograde?
Within minutes, television studios become emergency counselling centres as former players gather to explain how England were robbed by forces beyond human comprehension.
The slow-motion replays begin.
The lines are drawn.
The angles are analysed.
The experts nod gravely while explaining that a decision made by the laws of the game somehow constitutes an international conspiracy against Gareth from Milton Keynes.
🎭 The National Meltdown
What follows is a uniquely British ritual.
The tears.
The outrage.
The newspaper headlines.
The social media posts demanding investigations.
The calls for the manager to resign.
The calls for the manager to stay.
The demands to scrap VAR.
The demands to improve VAR.
The demands to replace every player except the goalkeeper, who somehow escapes blame every tournament.
Within 48 hours, the entire nation transforms into a collection of world-class football managers who mysteriously haven’t won a single trophy themselves.
🏆 Same Tournament, Different Year
And yet, despite the heartbreak, despite the outrage, despite the annual emotional collapse…
We’ll do it all again next time.
The songs.
The predictions.
The confidence.
The excuses.
Because hope, like England’s trophy cabinet since 1966, never quite dies.
It just gets postponed until the next tournament. 😭🏆
🔥 Challenges 🔥
Will England finally break the cycle?
Or are we heading for another summer of VAR conspiracies, referee outrage and emergency hankie shortages?
💬 Let us know in the comments.
👇 Like, comment and share if you’ve already heard “It’s Coming Home” at least twenty times this week.
🏆 The best comments will be featured in the next issue of the magazine.
Chameleon Magazine 
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